Recap: Vampire Diaries 5×08 – Dead Man on Campus

I’m sorry, okay, I really am. I’m just so incredibly busy right now. Exams, Christmas preparations and then I fell ill and I… Uh, I know, I know, excuses. Forgive me, please?

So, uh, this episode. I’m not fully on track with this not so secret secret society. It has a strong Buffy season 4 vibe and much like that, everything connected to it feels terribly contrived. Let’s get to it.

Dr Frankenfield is in his lab. He states that Jesse has transformed into a vampire in 14 days. Dafuq? 14 days? Does that make any sense? NO! Jesse awakes as Frankenfield starts a blood transfusion. He frees himself and Frankenfield is all, “Whoops! Vampires are strong??? Surprise!”
Jesse grabs the blood bag, drinks it and then goes to attack the doctor.

Blood drop.

Bonnie is at college and records a video to update her mum. Also, she has a new hairdo! Have a look:


Awesome. Anyway, she tells her mum about the dorm room which is huge and even has a fire place. She’s like, “How cool is that? What kind of dorm has a fireplace?” GOOD QUESTION, BONNIE.
Elena and Caroline arrive. They want to throw a huge party to celebrate that Bonnie is back. Also, they don’t have any new friends, aside from Jesse, who’s been missing and Aaron. LOL, WUT? Aaron is no friend, Elena, but just a guy whom you compelled to talk about his misery.
Bonnie goes to “register for classes” but obviously, Jeremy just texted her. Elena and Caroline tease her and Bonnie rushes out.

She meets with Jeremy, who suggest that maybe they should just go to his place.


I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t want to.
Bonnie sees a woman and abruptly leaves Jeremy to go to classes. To which she hasn’t registered. IF YOU LIE, AT LEAST MAKE IT BELIEVABLE.
Bonnie meets with the woman, who says she’s ready. The woman touches her and Bonnie breaks down in pain. This anchor-thing sucks.

Elena calls Damon to invite him to the party. She goes to say that she knows it sounds lame and Damon says that when she says that, it always is lame.
Elena spots Aaron and calls out to him, inviting him as well. Aaron doesn’t want to and she says she understands him and coming to this party will be good for him. Aaron is confused as to how she knows anything about him and she remembers that she compelled him. Subsequently, she compels him again. Because that’s what friends do. Aaron leaves and she picks up her conversation with Damon again. She wants Stefan to attend as well, even though Damon reminds her that Stefan hates them after having his memories back. Elena says there’ll be lots of alcohol so everything will be fine. WHATEVER.

Damon invites Stefan to the party, but Stefan is caught up in his hallucinations again. He says that he’s not in the mood for a party.

Katherine is at the Grill, and she’s really drunk. Matt refuses to give her anymore to drink.


Instead he checks his phone, on which he watches the video of the Traveller inside him. Katherine can translate because she apparently understands Czech. She tells Matt about that other human inside him and figures out that he met with Nadia in Prague.

Caroline gets called by Jesse, who tells her to visit him in his dorm. She goes and sees how Jesse is feeding on Aaron. She pushes him away.
After a break, Jesse tells her that Frankenfield tortured him and he locked him in his lab. Elena appears with some blood bags because Jesse is totes hungry. Jesse is a little confused because they’re vampires, too.


Uh – huh? Where were you last season Elena? Do you remember all that drama, do you? Anyway, Caroline makes  Jesse heal Aaron and they want to teach him about compulsion.

At the Grill, Katherine convinces Stefan to share a drink with her. She tells him about the doppelgangers being fated. She thinks the universe is Team Elena, though.
Stefan tells her about all his drama and she tells him it’s PTSD and he gets very defensive because he doesn’t want advice from freaking Katherine.


A few very good points right there.
Nadia walks in and Katherine introduces her daughter to Stefan.

We cut to college, where the dorm party is a success. Bonnie tells Jesse that her mother is a vampire, too, but her Jeremy drama is too important. See, she’s not sure if she wants to call him a boyfriend, because he’s Elena’s brother + still in high-school. I wish I could care more, but we’ve been over that before, so get a grip, girl.
Meanwhile, Caroline is still on Team Stelena. Elena has sent Damon to interrogate Dr Frankenfield and Caroline doesn’t think that’s such a good idea.

Let’s check up on these two, shall we? Damon has tied Frankenfield to a chair and checks the fridge. Turns out he has a few vials full of infectious diseases stored right there. At a college. Frankenfield says to back the f**k off, he’s a researcher. Damon goes to inject him with something that turns out to be a flesh-eating bacteria. Ugh. This is the second time the doc has been injected with something that shouldn’t go into his bloodstream and I find it hilarious how calm he is in the face of this horror.

At the Grill, Stefan is still  in the middle of this weird family reunion.


RIGHT. Okay, Matt walks in and Nadia calls on Gregor, the passenger. Gregor reveals that not only did he want to kill Silas, but Katherine as well. Katherine does what she does and stabs him with the dagger he so foolishly showed to Matt. She says Matt will live but Gregor is dead. Nadia’s pissed because she apparently really liked Gregor.

Over at the lab, Damon still tries to get answers. He wonders what it is about this college that turns people into mad scientists.
Dude, I don’t know. Damon injects Frankenfield with rabies after he said that all this was for the greater good. That’s what Grindelwald said, too.

At the party, Bonnie spots the old woman that died before again. She walks up to her and asks how she got here. The woman says she died, duh. But she’s also a witch. Also, she says death itself was horrible but now everything’s fine. Bonnie smiles happily until Jeremy arrives and takes her away to ‘register for classes’. That circumscription will only work for so long, I’m afraid…

Caroline is dancing with Jesse, who’s marveling at the fact that everything is heightened. I swear, if they start that shit again, I’m going to freak out. Remember last season, remember it? Everyone was all, “it’s heightened! Everything’s heightened! Your emotions are heightened!”. NOW THIS.

At Frankenfield’s lab, he’s finally spilling. He wants to make a new kind of vampire. Damon says that sounds awfully ambitious and the doc says he’s awfully smart.
You’re just a weirdo, Frankenfield, that’s all. Frankenfield, threatened to be injected with Ebola next, says that he practically programmed Jesse to crave vampire blood instead of human blood. You go have a talk with Mikael, will you? (Oh wait. He’s dead.)

Meanwhile, Caroline and Jesse are still dancing and then they’re kissing. As it goes on, though, he bites her and wow, things got awkward real quick, didn’t they?

Elena meets Aaron who says that he almost slept through the party… homeboy just lost a lot of blood, so I guess that’s legitimate. They sit on the stairs and he tells her all about Frankenfield being his legal guardian. She brings up the story of her parent’s car-crash and he tells her his parents died in an animal attack. A.K.A. FREAKING VAMPIRE ATTACK. Elena decides that she needs to tell Damon to not kill Frankenfield, pronto.

Over at the Grill, Stefan has another trauma attack. He stumbles outside after breaking the glass while he hallucinates about being in the safe. Katherine appears and he starts choking her. Her great tactic is to make him recite every person he killed, starting with his father. She says that proves that he’s in control. He lets go of her and thanks her. Nadia appears and says Gregor is dead for good.


Whoa. Whoa. GIRL. Back off, all right?

Elena called Damon and he promises to not kill Frankenfield. He turns to the doc and says that it’s a shame, because Frankenfield probably won’t stop. He adds that Frankenfield is lucky he’s not in the mood to bury his body.
You’re right, man. That’s always such a nuisance. Anyway, Jesse busts in to demand answers. Unfortunately, Damon was already about to heal Frankenfield, so there’s blood and Jesse just has no self-control. He attacks Damon and bites him. Elena turns up and Damon asks her to help him before Jesse kills him. So she grabs a stake and kills Jesse, who lives long enough to die in Caroline’s arms.

Let’s talk about this for a quick second – Damon wouldn’t have died, all right? Mikael drained Stefan in season 3 and look, he’s just fine. He would not have died, making killing Jesse completely pointless. Like – wasn’t there another way? Why? Why, Elena? C’mon, girl, you’re better than this. Caroline thinks so, too, and tells her the Elena she knew would have never done this.

At the Grill, Stefan is about to leave when he sees a paper addressed to Nadia, so naturally, he goes to read it. Sure. It’s from Katherine, who tells Nadia that she’s going to commit suicide. DAFUQ? Katerina Petrova ain’t committing suicide! HELLO? If there’s one thing we learned about Katherine, it’s that she’s a fighter. And now she’s gonna give up like that? Sure as hell not! What’s going on in the writer’s room, huh? Katherine jumps off the clock tower, but she never hits the ground. Stefan caught her! Yay, Stefan!  She says she’s dying of old age as the cure messed with the aging process.


^ what he said. He walks off and she smiles a very Katherine-y smile.

At a hotel, Bonnie and Jeremy are getting it on, but get suddenly interrupted by Jesse, who’s about to pass to the Other Side. Bonnie bends over, screaming in pain and Jeremy legitimately freaks. She tells him what being the anchor really means, but she decides that being with him is worth that. They pick up where they left off.

At the dorm, Caroline apologizes to Elena for what she said earlier, but says that she still thinks Damon to be dangerous.
Who’s side am I on now? Cause, seriously, Damon is one of my favourites, but so is Caroline. Only Elena isn’t, anymore. So, uh… not really sure what that’s telling me.

At Frankenfield’s lab, Damon reveals that once upon a time, he was subject 21051!
So… he, uh, only remembered that now? When everyone was talking about Augustine, they walked over campus and he visited this freakin’ lab, he did not remember, but now that he sees blood with a subject number, he does? WHAT THE HELL, SHOW? This screams contrivance so loudly, I can barely hear how Damon says he’ll kill Frankenfield now.
The Doc has freed himself, though and pushed the red security button, releasing vervain-gas that fills the room. Damon falls to the floor, coughing.

When he next awakes, he’s in a cell and has weird flashbacks of being strapped to a lab bed. The wall has the initials D.S. carved into it, and also `53`.

So, I personally thought this to be a rather weak episode. I don’t care about Jeremy and Bonnie at all, so there’s that. Also Elena and her weird conception of friendship piss me off. Damon and Frankenfield were good, I think, until the end when the contrived contrivance became too much to bear. I promise, promise to hurry. Really. I know I’m a horrible blogger for not updating. Anyway, I still hope to see you soon on 5×09 or over on the Originals. Have yourself a lovely day :)


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