Previously: Ebony listens to N’Sync. Also, she and Riddle returned to the present.
I really don’t know how to do this justice. Perhaps with a huge amount of celebratory gifs? ‘Cause, guys, we reached the end.
AN: I fink after dis I wil hav abott 2 or three mor chapterz. Fangz 2 all muh revyooers not das flamers if u flamed sis story den u suk!111111 if u flam den fukk u!111
Translation: she thinks after this, she’ll have about two or three more chapters. Luckily for us, it’s only one. She thanks the reviewers who didn’t flame and I doubt there are any. If you flame, then f**ck you. F**ck you, Tara!
Ebony walks sexily into the Great Hall, as she does, and finds someone there already, it’s – suspense? Nope. None to be found – Draco!
She’s like, “are you okay?”
And he’s all, “Dafuq? No, I’m not okay!”
Because he said that (I’m not okay), she thinks of that My Chemical Romance song and gets super depressed because the song is OMG SO SAD. Call me heartless, but I can’t feel sad. I’m happy it’ll be over soon.
So she’s offering him a smoke and then goes, “So, you and Snape, what was up with that?”
Because, remember, a few chapters back, she walked in on Snape and Draco and Draco was putting his thingie into Snape’s thingie and… yeah, that happened.
Draco starts to explain, but the door bursts open and Mr Noris and Loopin walk in.
“Im so glad we me and Snape were freed.” said Loopin.
“Dam, this job would be great if it wasn’t 4 da fukking students!” Mr. Norris argreed.
“Pop addelum!111” I yielded angrily pointing my wand at them.
“Noooooooo!1” Lupin shouted as chains came on him. Mr. Norris ran away.
I have to admit I was really laughing as I read that Mr Noris ran away while Loopin shouted “NOOOOO!”. WAIT A MINUTE. Is Lupin spelled right? HE IS. Oh my God, this is the best thing that ever happened in My Immortal!
Ebony tells him that it only serves him right for taking that video of her, when she was naked except not and he was masticating to it. She wants him to tell her where You-Know-Who is, but Loopin says that he doesn’t know. Then, Harry and Riddle come running inside. You just have to imagine Harry and his arch nemesis running in, coming to Ebony’s rescue. Maybe they decided to just work together for a while, for the sake of getting rid of Ebony? I can still dream…
Ebony takes out the video camera and then starts kissing Draco (never mind that she was mad at him just a second ago). Then they start taking each others clothes off. Riddle and Harry do the same and…
Every1 took their glocks out except 4 me im a girl lol. “Oh mi satan! Draco!” I screamed as he put his hardness in my thingy Den he did da same fing to Harry. I began making out wiv Satan and he joined in. “OMS!111” cried Vampire. “Oh Vampire! Vampire!” I screamed screamed. “Oh Satan!” yelled Harry in pleasore.
I just… I don’t… ugh. Then, they decided that torturing Loopin while they’re at it would be even more fun and I… I didn’t want to get angry, okay, but DAMNIT, TARA. WHY????
Suddenly, the window is shattered and in flies a car and Snape is leaning out of the window.
Let’s go to the last chapter!
AN: well I hav noffing 2 say but evrt1 stup glamming ok!111 if any gofik ppl r reading dis den u rok!11 omg I stil kant wait 4 da movie!1 tom fleton is so hot lol i hop harry wil bekum gofik koz mi frend told me he iz rlly emo in dis book!1111 omfg im leeving dubya pretty soon kant wait! Diz wil prolly be da last chaptah until I kum bak.
I have no idea which film exactly came out when she wrote this, but I’m sure that Harry never turned gothic. Thank God.
Draco gets properly pissed because that flying car? It’s his car.
But suddenly it was revealied who was in da car. It wuz….Snape!
You told us so in the last chapter, though! My God, this girl must be the worst author ever. Or a really skilled troll. I don’t know…
The car is “circumamcizing” above them as Snape announces that Ebony has to be killed. I am with you on that one, Sev.
Draco turns to Ebony and says that he didn’t voluntarily put his thingie into Snape’s, but was raped. WHY HASN’T HE SAID THAT BEFORE? LIKE – WHEN SHE FOUND YOU, YOU IDIOT??? And quite frankly, I find the fact that he doesn’t seem fazed by it, just mentions being raped so nonchalantly, quite offensive. What am I saying? It’s extremely offensive.
They decide that right about now would be a good point to put their clothes back on. They all do, except for Riddle, who doesn’t change into his clothes, but into someone else: Voldemont!
He says that he knew all the time who she really was. This is like my dream for this story: I always hoped Riddle would kill her. I was almost right! Let’s face it. He’s the only one with any brains in this story.
“No plz don’t kill us!” pleaded Vampire. Suddenly Willow, B’loody Mary, Diabolo, Ginny, Drocula, Fred and Gorge, Hargrid, McGonagall, Dumblydore, Serious and Lucian all ran in.
“What is da meaning of dis?” Dumblydore asked all angrily and Voldimort lookd away (bcos dumblydore is da only whizard he is scared of.) He did a spell and suddenly his broomstick came to him sexily. Volxemort flew above the roof evilly on his broomstik.
I only get over the rage (Harry’s pleading, the sexy broomstick and shy Voldemort all in the same paragraph) because I know it’s going to be over soon.
“I know a four-letter word 4 dirt, CRUCIATUS!” screamed Harry but da sparks from his wand only hit Draco’s car.
Er… what??? A four letter word for dirt. Cruciatus. Cruciatus is not a word for dirt. And it doesn’t have four letters. SO – WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ON ABOUT, TARA?
The car falls down and Snape crawls out, grabbing the video camera with the video of Ebony naked except not naked, the video of her and Draco and the video of Hedwig and Riddle. Yup. They film each other and awful lot.
Snape threatens to publish the videos if she kills him (HOW?) and says she will be just like Paris Hilton. That, of course, is something to be afraid of.
Ebony retorts by saying that she still has the picture of Snape and Loopin. Loopin doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Remus, dear, you don’t want to tell me that you’ve forgotten? DOBBY WAS WATCHING YOU.
“Foolish ignoramuses!” yielded Voldemort from his broomstick. “Thou shall all dye soon.”
If only he would follow through already…
Harry, Ron and Neville take out their guns and You-Know-Who takes out his own one. Why aren’t they fighting with wands? Why does the Dark Lord carry a muggle weapon????
Anyway, You-Know-Who accios Neville’s wand and then announces that he will now kill them all. Dumblydore begs Ebony to save them.
I cried sexily I just wanted 2 go 2 the commen room and slit my wrists with mi friends while we watched Shark Attak 3 and Saw 2 and do it with Draco but I knew I had 2 do somefing more impotent.
Good that we thought about all this. It’s not like this is a matter of life and death; no, you don’t have to save the world or anything. F**ck you, Tara!
“ABRA KEDABRA!11111” I shooted.
And that… is the end. This is where it ends. Now, my theory is that her wrong spell caused the apocalypse and everything dissolved into nothingness. Yup. Headcanon accepted.
IT’S OVER! THIS IS THE END! I am… so happy.
It feels good. It feels really, really good.
The Wrap-up post will be up soon. Please, go ahead and tell me about your (least) favourite moments of My Immortal! And, while you’re at it, any suggestions on what to recap next, now that I finished this ordeal?
Have yourself a lovely day :)