Recap: My Immortal Chapter 37&38 – AND THEN SHE DIES. Not.

Previously: Ebony was accepted into Lucius band and almost got induced with Amnesia potion. 

I’m still traumatized from last week. I guess you are, too. Here, have this gif of an epic panda backflip to make it all better:

Source: giphy.com

AN: OK EVRYBODY IM GONG ON VOCATION ON DA FRIST OF JULY SO IM EEDER GONNA END DA FIK OR UPDAT IT IN WEEX. fangz!1 oh yah nd prepz stop flaming sa story!11 raven fangz 4 da help c ya gurl afta vocation!11

At least the end is near. That’s the only consolation for me.

DARKO’S PONT OF VIEW LOL

She announced it this time; better than when she just casually switched without mentioning it. Harry and Draco are chaining Hagrid to the floor. Ebony’s loudly thinking about giving the Amnesia Potion to Riddle to make him fall in love with her. WUT? Did she mean “Amormentia”, the love potion, the whole time? Could she have known it was called that? IDK, guys.

“But u r so sexy and wonderful aneway Tata,” said Vampire. “Why would u need it?”

What do we conclude? Tara can’t even spell her own name when she self-inserts. Figures.

Draco is worried if she’ll sleep with Riddle (she probably will)  but she gets spared the answer when Britney, the one and only prep, interrupts only to get harassed by the lot of them. Britney, I’m officially on team you. You don’t deserve any of the hate.

Source: giphy.com

Anyway, they go to Divination and find that Professor Trelawney isn’t there. Instead Tom Rid, the shop owner is. I get so confused, because Tom Rid isn’t Tom Riddle, who is called Tom Satan Bombadil in this story and I don’t understand anything anymore.

Tom Rid brought some clothes and Ebony hugs him for thanks in a gothic way. Chick’s got style.

Draco spots a sign on the wall that says, “Evry1 Profesor Sinister is away. She is too gottik she is in Azkhabian now. Classes shal be taught by Dubledork who is bak but he shall not be principal 4 now. Sincerely Profesor Rumbridge.”

Sincerely is such a big word for you, Tara. Don’t you think you should take baby steps until whatever this is grows up to full writing?

Dumbledore appears and shouts a bit at them for being in his office (IT’S THE CLASSROOM!) but Ebony doesn’t pay much attention. That’s because she suddenly spots Marty Mcfly’s time machine. It’s a DeLorean! How do you not notice that????

She jumps seductively into the car and travels back in “tim”, reappearing in Professor Slughorn’s office. She finds the Amnesia potion on the table and moves to get it when the door opens and Slughorn enters. He’s considerably angry, but Ebony manages to calm him down.

“Oh sorry I wuz just looking around koz I thought it wuz class.” you said finally hoping he couldn’t c da potion in ur pocket.”

Since when is she writing in second person, huh?  She goes to the common room (still confused about “you” and “I”).

Silas, Samaro and Snap were there practicing Vampirez will Never Hurt U by MCR.

I don’t know two thirds of these people. What’s going on? Sirius (Silas? Or Samaro?) says that she can call him Hades now. I’d give her credit for greek mythology, but LOL. No.

AN: wut doez every1 fink if I end da strory and den I add sum more 2 it after vocation? oh yah asnd prepz stup flaming if u dnot lik dat story den take muh quiz ok den u wil c if ur gofik or not!1111111

I think, Tara, it would be better if you just stopped. Just stop it, delete it and let it never be heard of again. There is a quiz that tells you if you’re gothic or not. I found it once, I think, but I’m too lazy to look it up. I wasn’t gothic, though. Oh well.

Source: giphy.com

Riddle and Ebony are going to the concert in his car. I keep thinking that he’ll kill her, eventually. Not make a Horcrux out of that murder, though, of course. Let’s face it. She’s not good enough for that.

“Oh my satan, Gerard is so fuking hot!11” Volxemort agreed as we smoked sum weed. (koz bi guyz r hot dey r so sensitive I luv dem lol goez fux a bi guy)

Sometimes, really, I don’t know what to say anymore. Maybe I’d have to go on a rant on how Tara and her obsession with bi guys is hypocritical and stupid, but it’ll turn out really long and I don’t have the energy to do that right now.

Riddle tells her that the cure to being addicted to Volxemortserum is to drink vampire blood. Convenient. They leave the concert and go to a movie theatre instead.

We went in2 da movie tether were they were showing da Excercist. In it a boy and a gurl were doing it sudenly a cereal killer came lol. Satan and I laughed at da blood koz we’re sadists.

A cereal killer.

Ebony slips some Amnesia Potion into Riddle’s joint (I guess?) but as he realizes that she did it, he tells her that it won’t work, because Amensia Potion wasn’t invented yet.

1) she stole it from Slughorn’s office in Riddle’s time.

2) even if it hadn’t been invented, it would still work.

Source: giphy.com

So, Riddle says that he wanted to use the potion as well (even though he shouldn’t know about it, because it wasn’t invented) and that turns them both on and they start making out.

A lady behind them is slightly bothered by this and asks them to stop. Ebony claims that she’s a prep and attacks her, sucking her dry. RIP, cinema lady. You meant well.

She has to tell Riddle that she’s a vampire, because he still hasn’t figured it out. I still got this theory that he’s just playing dumb and will murder her any second. I can still hope, right?

They go to the concert of Marilyn Manson and are called on stage. I vaguely remember that they were supposed to play there.

Lucius messes up the chords and the start arguing and yelling at each other on stage. James takes out a knife and shoots Lucius arm away with it.

Tara, baby girl, I know you’re terribly confused, but you don’t shoot with knives.

I’m sorry, he doesn’t really shoot his arm away, because Ebony jumps sexily in front of the bullet and falls to the ground. Chapter ends with everything fading to black.

AND THEN SHE DIES!

At least I can pretend that is what happens until next week. Wouldn’t it be awesome?

Next on My Immortal: Someone hacked Tara’s account, but it didn’t stop her.

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