Grim(m) Stories: Aladdin and the Wonderful Lamp – Part II

Previously: Aladdin got trapped in cave, was rescued by a ring’s ghost, found the wonderful lamp and decided that he wanted to marry the Princess Badroulbadour after kidnapping her repeatedly. 

Aladdin marries the Princess Badroulbadour, but hurries off right after everything is set to build a palace for her. Which works over night, due to having a djinn, which no one finds strange for some reason. So the Princess Badroulbadour sets off to meet Aladdin at his palace and falls in love with him at once. At least we have a happy ending on that department.

We’re not done yet, though. We could have been, but we’re not. *sigh*

There’s a room with loads of beautiful windows and Aladdin tells the Sultan that he’s supposed to finish the last one off after his wishes. So the Sultan sends the best jewellers to finish the window. They try for a month but don’t manage it, so Aladdin is all, “Okay, let’s just forget about it. Djinn, go for it.”

When Aladdin is out for an eight-day!hunt, the African magician returns and is all, “WTF happened here?” He plays a trick on the Princess Badroulbadour who gives him the wonderful lamp – of which she didn’t know. How come her husband hasn’t told her something like, “Princess Badroulbadour, don’t give this away”?

Anyhow, the magician rubs the lamp and wishes for himself, the palace and the Princess Badroulbadour to be back in Africa. Of course, he gets his wish granted.

Aladdin returns after his eight-day!hunt and is captured by the Sultan’s troops. Understandably, the Sultan is pretty pissed about his daughter’s disappearance. Aladdin convinces him last second to give him forty days to bring Princess Badroulbadour back.

So Aladdin sets off and asks everyone who crosses his path if they have seen the palace (dafuq?), but no one has. He’s ready to drown himself when he accidently rubs the ring – why hasn’t he remembered that one before? – and the ghost appears, telling him that no, he can’t bring back the palace, because that’s the lamp-ghost’s thing and they stay out of each other’s hair, or something. So Aladdin wishes to be brought to the palace instead.

The tale says once he finds himself in Africa, he instantly falls asleep. Now what that reminds me of? This. And it’s never good to be reminded of My Immortal.

So Aladdin breaks into the palace to meet Princess Badroulbadour. When he tells her about the lamp she puts the pieces together and figures it was kind of her fault, even though she didn’t know anything. So it was Aladdin’s fault, then, love, don’t beat yourself up about it.

Turns out she’s been rather harsh to the magician. Aladdin develops a plan and tells her to be really nice to the magician that day and ask him for wine. When the magician leaves, Aladdin will come out of his hideout and tell her about the rest of the plan. WHY? Why not just tell her then and there? Last time you didn’t tell her something, mate, she gave the most important thing away. DON’T YOU LEARN?

It happens as planned, the magician leaves to get wine and returns with a bottle. He drinks to the Princess Badroulbadour’s beauty and then falls dead to the ground. So your super-secret plan was poison, Ali? Creative.

Princess Badroulbadour is very happy and all for victory-hugs, but Aladdin sends her away, because he has totes important things to do. He gets the lamp and wishes himself, the palace and the Princess Badroulbadour back home.

The Sultan sees the palace appear again and hurries over to greet Aladdin and the Princess Badroulbadour. Aladdin tells him the whole story and the Sultan decides that there is to be a ten-day fest.

Now even the fairy tale realizes that you could have stopped right there, but it shall not be.

The African magician had a younger brother, who is even more evil then himself. The African magician’s younger brother (AMYB) seeks vengeance and therefore follows Aladdin. He goes to pious woman called Fatima, changes clothes with her, paints his face and puts on her veil. He then proceeds to kill the woman, just so we know the tale wasn’t joking when it said that AMYB was evil.

The AMYB pretends to be that Fatima, walking down the streets and gets called by Princess Badroulbadour. She wants false!Fatima/AMYB to stay with her. She show the AMYB around and he says that everything is really beautiful and only misses a roc’s egg hanging from the ceiling. Now that he says it, Princess Badroulbadour realizes that he’s right and that puts her in a really bad mood.

Aladdin comes home to find Princess Badroulbadour in that foul mood and offers to grant her that wish. He rubs the lamp and says what he wants, but this time the Djinn gets really mad:
“Done everything for you, I did. And now you want me to bring my master and hang him up?” WTF IS HAPPENING??? “You deserve to DIEEEEEE! Then again, this isn’t your doing, but the AMYB’s, so… yeah, you should go and sort that out.”

He goes to the Princess Badroulbadour and orders her to fetch the false!Fatima – without telling his wife what he’s up to! This makes no sense! The AMYB arrives and Aladdin kills him by stabbing him in the heart.

Princess Badroulbadour is freaked but Aladdin explains what he should’ve explained long before.

Now the tale is finally at it’s end. Aladdin becomes Sultan after Princess Badroulbadour’s father and they live happily ever after.

I guess the moral of this story is… if you’ve got a wonderful lamp,don’t let it lay around. Magicians will steal your palace.

You can read the shortened (though still incredibly long) version of this story right here.

Have yourself a lovely day :) – Oh, yeah. If you have a fairy tale that you would like to see recapped, be sure to leave a comment and I will definitely do it.

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