Recap: My Immortal Chapter 29&30 – Serverus and his evil twin brother, Snake

Previously: Draco and Ebony had sex in her coffin until they were interrupted by Snape and McGonagall.

AN is the same old, so I’ll skip it.

Draco and Ebony jump out of the coffin, while “Snap and Professor McGoonagle started to shoot at us angrily”.  I’m still waiting for the day when she spells McGonagall right. It’s a dream of mine.

“CUM NOW!1!” Preacher McGongel yielded. We did guiltily.

Why??? Girl, especially in that context, misspelling the word “come” is fatal. She says that “Snoop” grabs the “caramel” and it took me a while to figure out she meant the camera with which Harry was filming them. They’re all very angry about it and even threaten to tell “Dumblehor”, who will send Snape to “St.Mango’s.”

Professor McGonagall leads them into a weird room with white stones “all around it” (bathroom, anyone?).

There were all these werid tools in it. Draco started to cry all sexy and sexitive (geddit koz hes a sexbom lol tom felnot rulez 4 lif but nut as muxh as gerard ur sex on legz I luv u u fokeng rok mary me!111).

These puns… luckily, Tom Felton is safe, seen as Gerard Way rules more than him. Tara’s opinion, y’all.

I started to cry tearz of blood (it hapnz in vrampir kroniklz raven sed so ok so fok u!1)7

It’s true. It doesn’t matter, though, because Anne Rice’s vampires are real, dark, vampire-vampires, and not Tara’s “goffik” version of stupidity.

Harry and Snape take out their guns (?) and shoot at each other. Ebony wants to stop them by using the Cruciatus Curse on Snape. She shouts “Crosio”, though. Not a real spell, honey, not a real spell.

McGonagall “does a spell” to chain them up and then leaves them alone with Snape. While Snape laughs his most evil laugh, Harry starts to cry. Because he’s useless like that. Draco tells Ebony that “Evergreen” will be all right. That’s why it’s called an evergreen.

Snape laughed again. And then…he took out some whips!1!1111

Source: btvs-reaction-gifs.tumblr.com

AN: stop flaming da story ok u dnot no wutz even gona happen ok!1111 so FUL U!111 if u flam u wil be a prep so al flamerz kan kiss muh ass!111 soz 4 soz 4 sayin alzhimers is dongerous but datz da mysteries opinin koz sosiety basically sux. fangz 2 raven u rok bich!111

What does this even mean??? I think it’s: Stop flaming as you don’t know what’s going to happen. Fool you (probably not, but whatever). Flamers can kiss her ass (nope). Sorry for saying Alzheimer’s is dangerous (huh?) but that’s the Ministry’s opinion, because society sucks. Well, wizarding politics do suck, but – no. Just no. Thanks to Raven and the usual bullshit.

Snape puts stones around Draco and I don’t have the faintest idea what I should imagine.

Did I say a new level of grape last post? Nothing against this. It’s an attempted rape-grape. Would be a serious issue, but you know, this is My Immortal.

Snape pulls down his pants and they see there’s a Dark Mark on his penis.

Source: btvs-reaction-gifs.tumblr.com

Snape wants Ebony to stab Harry, or he’ll “rap” Draco. She doesn’t want to but, Draco “lookd exactly like a pentragram (lol geddit koz im a satanist) between Kurt Cobain and Gerard. But then I looked at Vampire and he looked so smexy too wif his goffik black hair. I thought of da time when we screwed and the time I did it with Draco and Dumblydore came and the tame where Draco almost commited suicide and Vampire wuz so sportive.

You can just see the deep level of her relationship(s). Those good times they had, when they were caught in the act by Dumbledore and so on…

Snape starts to pray to Volxemort. I mean, he’s called the Dark Lord and everything, but he’s not a god, darling.

Suddenly an idea I had.

Oh, please, tell me all about it, Yoda.

I clozd my eyes and using my vampire powers I sent a telepathetic massage to Drako and Vampire so they would destruct Snape.

Since when is that in her vampire capabilities, huh?

Anyways, just as Snape is about to rape Draco, Ebony casts the Cruciatus on him, while texting “Serious”. Snape starts running around the room, screaming in pain. I’d say, when the Cruciatus is cast on you, you don’t run around anymore. Lying on the floor and screaming, that sounds more like it.

“You dunderhed!111 Im going to kill-” shooted Snape but suddenly Serverus came.

Snake put the whip behind his bak. “Oh hello Sev I wuz just teaching them sumthing.” he lied.

I almost forgot about the whip – what did he use it for??? Anyways, I just love how he’s in the room and then appears again. BECAUSE SNAPE AND SEVERUS ARE THE SAME PERSON, TARA! THE SAME PERSON!

Luckily. Lucius Malfoy and Professor Trewlaney arrive, too. They chain up Snape and Professor Trewlaney makes Ebony come with her.

Next on My Immortal: Ebony uses Volremortserum on Snape and travels back in time. 

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