Recap: My Immortal Chapter 27&28 – Have a Voldemint for fresh breath!

Previously: Serious and Lucian were shot, but saved because Dumblydore did some stuff.

AN is the same as always, so I’ll just skip it.

Everyone’s really happy that Lucius and Sirius have been saved and I call your bluff, Tara. No one really liked Lucius Malfoy. Also, Ebony claims that she has saved them. Well – how? You had some sort of vision, but as usual you didn’t actually do anything.

“Cum on Enoby.” said Proffesor Sinatra. She was wearing a gothic blak leader dress with a corset top and real vampir blood on it and fuking black platinum boots. “I have to tell you the fucking perdition.”

Proffesor Sinatra? What does Sinatra have to do it? That goes straight on my ruined-because-of-My-Immortal-list.

I locked at Lucian, Serifs, Drake and Vampire. They nodded.

Serifs? Who is Serifs? Does she mean Sirius? WHAT? And – Drake??? You know what I think of when I hear that name?

Quelle: clouds-and-stars

Anyways, they go into a dark room, where Professor Trewlaney does the usual crystal-ball-stuff and tells Ebony that there are “drak” times ahead.

“You see, you must go back in time.” She took out a Time-Toner like B’loody Mary had. “When Voldemint was in Hogwarts before he became powerful he gut his hearth borken. Now do you fink he would still become Volxemort if he was in love?” I shook my head. “U must go back in time and sedouce him. It is the only way. If he is still evil then you must kill him. You can come to my room tomorrow and you can do it.”

It’s a Time Turner. And these are very, very hard to get, restricted by the Ministry and stuff and – I don’t think there are many left. Voldemint? That’s new. Probably referring to the Dark Lord’s fresh breath or something. And no – he didn’t get his heart broken and became evil because of that – and no! You can’t just seduce him and everything will be all right! You stick away from my Tom, Tara!

Outside, everyone is celebrating that “Lucian” and Sirius were “fond”. Well. Okay.

They were cheesing my name and some reporters were there, trying to interview Dumblydore. A banner was put up. Lotz of fucking prepz were there oviously tring 2 be b goffik wering the HIM sign on their handz- depite them not having akshelly heard of him. Even Mr. Noris looked happy. A blak and red cake had been brought out. Crabbe and Goyke set up some fireworx in the shape of skulls from Wesley’s Whizard Wises.

I put on my Invisibility coke with Vampire and Draco and we sneaked outside 2gether.

So many problems with all of this. Some reporters. At least she didn’t drag Rita Skeeter into this mess. Preps wearing the HIM sign despite not having heard of him – what? HIM is a band, so it would “not having heard of them” right? Or did she mean to write HIM and wrote “him”???

Mr Noris is looking happy? Do you mean Filch, Tara? I don’t think he would ever be happy if he’s not allowed to use those old torture supplies that he always wants to use on the students…

Crabbe and Goyle – they’re still called Fred and George! And it’s not Wesley’s Whizard Wises, but Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes! And if they had already founded that, they would not be in Hogwarts anymore. Cut that out. They shouldn’t be in Hogwarts at all. They left during Harry’s fifth year. It’s now his seventh!

Your Invisibility Cloak? It’s not your Invisibility Cloak. The only one we ever got to see was Harry’s. Harry. Harry Freakin’ Potter. Remember? He’s that guy these books are actually about? No? Well, whatever…

Yet another long chapter! I guess we’re going to have a really long post.

AN: I sed stop gflmaing da story it wuz a miskat wen profsor relory sed dat ok!11111111 GO 2 FOKENG HELL!1111 U SUK! fangz 2 fily 4 da help!1! raven hav fun wif kiwi!1111111

Is it only me or are these ANs getting worse and worse? Translation (at least what I think it is) It was a mistake when Professor Trelawney said that – said what? She thanks “fily”, I don’t know who that is and Raven is supposed to have fun with “kiwi”. As in the fruit? Or the bird?

So, Harry, Draco and Ebony go into a black room and there she tells him that she has to seduce You-Know-Who. Draco starts crying because he thinks that she’ll break up with him, but she tells him she won’t.

I only have one hope – that she’ll get lost in time AND THEN SHE’LL DIE.

Or maybe Tom realizes at once that she’s stupid as hell AND THEN SHE’LL DIE.

There’s a whole new level of grape coming up, guys.

We frenched sexily. Vampire looked at us longingly.

Then… I took off Draco’s MCR shrift and seductvely took of his pants. He was hung lik a stallone. He had replaced the Vampire tattoo that said Enoby on it. Black roses were around it. I gasped. He lookd exactly lik Gerard Way. Vampire took a vido camera. (I had sed it wuz ok b4).

I took of my clothes den we were in 4 da rid of r lif.

We started freching as we climbed into the cofin. He put his spock in my you-know-what and passively we did it.

This is all so weird. It’s a shame that he didn’t even spell her name correctly when it comes to something as long-lasting as a tattoo. He looked exactly like Gerard Way. I have to say it now, to get it out of my system –

THEY DON’T LOOK ALIKE!

Anyways, after this completely disgusting and weird grape, we get a bit of suspense, because reasons.

Suddenly….

“WHAT THE FUCK R U DOING!”

It was….Snope and Profesor McGoggle!111

Conclusion: They didn’t lock the door.

Next on My Immortal: Everybody’s crying a whole lot, maybe because Snape and Severus have a little argument.

Have yourself a lovely day :)

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