Previously: Ebony and Harry hide underneath an Invincibility Coke and Crab and Goyle got adopted by the Weasleys.
Let’s start on the second half of this horror story, shall we?
AN: dhut da fok up biches!1 ur jus jelos koz I gut 10000 reviowz!1 fangz 2 raven 4 da help n telin me bout da boox gurlu rok letz go shopin 2getha!
Translation: Again, Tara thinks we’re jealous, because she got 10.000 reviews. Did she really? That seems like a hell of a lot of reviews. I don’t think that can be the actual number… anyways.
“Rumbridge” sees them standing outside the window and storms outside followed by Cornelia Fudged and Dumbledum.
“MR. WAY WHAT THE BEEP ARE YOU DOING!” Rumbridge shouted angrily. Dumbledore blared at her.
“Oops she made a mistake!” he corrupted her. “She means hi everybody cum in!”
Ebony is now a man. All right. And Dumbledore corrupts her? I think she means “corrected”, but whatever you say, Tara.
They go inside, where Draco and Harry start fighting over Ebony.
“You fucking bustard!” yelled Draco at Vampire. “I want to shit next to her!1”
“No I do!” shouted.
“No she doesn’t fucking like u, you son of a bitch!” yelled Draco.
“No fuck you motherfucker she laves me not you!” shouted Vampire. And then… he jumped on Draco! (no not in dat way u perv) They started to fight and beat up each other.
Not in that way, you perv! How dare you think such a thing?
All of a sudden… a terrible man with red eyes and no nose flew in on his broomstick. He had no nose and was wearing a gray robe. All the glass in the window he flew thru fell apart. Britney that fucking prep started to cry. Vampire and Draco stopped fighting….I shopped eating….Everyone gasped. Da room fell silent….Volzemort!
“Eboby…..Ebony….” Darth Valer sed evilly in his raspy voice. “Thou havfe failed ur mission. Now I shall kill thou and I shall kill Vampire as well. If thou does not kill him before then I shall kill Draco too!”
Good thing she repeated the no nose part, wouldn’t have remembered it if she didn’t. How is it that she calls him “Volzemort” first and then switches to “Darth Valer”? This is not Star Wars! You’ve got the wrong movie, Tara! It’s obviously not bad enough to just ruin Harry Potter, no, she has to drag Star Wars into this, too.
You-Know-Who just takes off after telling her that she has to kill Harry.
I had a vision were I saw some lighting flash and then Voldremot coming to kill Draco while Draco slit his wrists in a depressed way.
“No!” I screamed sexily. Suddenly I locked up and stopped having the vision.
“No!” I screamed sexily is a good example for “hot except not”. Anyways, Hermione suggests that Ebony goes to ask “Professor Sinister” what the visions are about. (I’d say it’s about You-Know-Who killing Draco, but meh.). Also, it’s Professor Sinistra, who is the Astronomy teacher and I guess she actually meant Professor Trelawney, who is teaching Divination.
On to the next chapter.
Well we had Deviation next so I got to ask Proffessor Trevolry about the visions.
It’s Divination. I’d say “Proffessor Trevolry” is a step in the right direction, but in the next line, it’s Professor Sinister again and I get totally confused. How does she have two completely different names for the same person?
“What is it Ebony?” she asked. “Hey I love ur nail polish where’d u get it, Hot Topik?”
“Yeah.” I answered. All the preps who didn’t know what HT was gave me weird looks. I gave them the middle finger. “Well I have to talk to you about some fings. When do you want to due it?”
Professor Trewlaney is not gothic! She is weird, yes, but not gothic! Also, I’m not gothic, yet I know what Hot Topic is. It’s not classified information that must not be shared with not-goths or something.
Trewlaney wants to do their little talk then and there and dismisses the whole class, except for Britney, the “prep” from “Griffindoor”, who has to “do exorcize (geddit) 1 on page 3.”
Right. Trewlaney gives her a crystal ball to look in and Ebony sees a pentagram and a black skull or something. I don’t know what that is supposed to tell her. Then, Draco arrives and she leaves with him.
“Okay you can go now, see ya cunt.” said Proffesor Sinister.
“Bye bitch.” I said waving.
I went to Draco and Vampire was sitting next to him. We both followed Draco together and I was so exhibited.
I have to recycle this gif:
She was so exhibited? WHAT? And why are they talking to each other like that? Why is she addressing her teacher as “bitch” -why -why- so many unanswered questions in this chapter.
Next on My Immortal: Lucian and Serious are shot and everything is done very sexily.
Have yourself a lovely day :)