Recap: My Immortal Chapter 9&10 – The Crookshanks Spell Of Flying Cats

Previously: Ebony found a tatoo on Draco. It wasn’t a Dark Mark, so that was bullshit. Among other things, Draco went to class naked. And then she told us how she lost her verility in the Forbidden Forest.

Tara tells us that she hasn’t read the books, but only watched the movies. That doesn’t really explain anything, though.

Ebony’s still in the Forbidden Forest and she’s mad and sad. Let’s appreciate the rhyme for a second:

Quelle: the-lightning-has-struck

Suddenly, You-Know-Who flies into the Forbidden Forest on a broomstick. WHAT? I’ve never seen the Dark Lord on a broomstick; that would be ridiculous. Also, why did he just enter Hogwarts? I don’t think that’s possible that easily.

So, I’m sorry to have spoiled it for you – he looks basically like Voldemort in the movies, but only a line later we get the confirmation:

 It was… Voldemort!

You-Know-Who shouts “Imperius” at her (which would be “Imperio!” but I’m going to let that go), so she can’t run away. Ebony isn’t easily frightened, though. She whips out her wand and yells “Crookshanks!” at him. Honey, Crookshanks is not a spell, it’s Hermione’s cat! I conclude that it was supposed to be the Cruciatus Curse, cause You-Know-Who falls off his broom screamig in pain. (Right. Because that would absolutely happen. He’s not like the most powerful evil wizard that ever lived.)

She stops (because she feels bad for him) and he tells her that she has to kill Harry. He speaks like a character from a Shakespeare play.

Thou must kill Vampire Potter!

She tells him no, but he threatens to kill Draco if she does not and hands her a gun. A gun. There’s no such thing as guns in the magical world. Why would there be? They have wands. WANDS.

Ebony’s confused because she doesn’t understand how You-Know-Who knew about her and Draco and he tells her that he “hath telekinesis“.

No. No, he doesn’t. And even if he had, that wouldn’t help him much, right? I think she wants to tell us that he used Legilimency, which would make sense, because this is the term in the Harry-Potter-universe.

So, the Dark Lord departs and Draco turns up. Ebony forgives him, but doesn’t tell him about You-Know-Who showing up and stuff. I mean, sure. Why should she?

Chapter ten starts with a nearly not understandable AN:

stup it u gay fags if u donot lik ma story den fukk off! ps it turnz out b’loody mary isn’t a muggle afert al n she n vampire r evil datz y dey movd houses ok!

Translation: Don’t like, don’t read (she’s basically trying to get rid of her audience, who read it because they hate it). B’loody Mary (Hermione) isn’t a Muggle, but a vampire. She and Harry are evil now (?), so they moved Houses.

Ebony’s really upset because of the whole Dark-Lord-threat thing, even as she goes to rehearsal with her band “Bloody Gothic Rose 666”. They sound like a cross of some bands. The reason I’m telling you this is that later on it says:

He wouldn’t die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there’s no way I’m writing that) or a steak.

Quelle: multitudeofgifs

Draco’s also watching a depressing movie. The Corpse Bride. I shit you not.

Ebony starts crying and explains to Hermione why she’s so upset. When she has finished her story, Draco jumps up from behind a wall (WHAT?) and shouts a bit at her. Then he runs out, crying, but Ebony stays to practice another hour.

Then, Dumbledore walks in angrily and she knew that this time he didn’t have a headache. I have a headache, though, and it’s your fault, Tara. Anyways, Dumbledore also cries (WHY?).

c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y

Translation: He didn’t swear and he’s really upset and we’re about to see why. Draco has committed suicide, even though she just told us that this wasn’t possible, because vampire and bla-bla-bla.

Next on My Immortal: We’re going to deal with  “sris issus” and Ebony attends “Hair of Magical Magic Creatures” with Professor McGoggle. 

Have yourself a lovely day :)

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