Previously: My Immortal is now a musical and we meet Harry “Vampire” Potter.
I think the funniest part of this are the ANs. Tara obviously got her good reviews, but she’s not content yet:
wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Evony isn’t a Marie Sue ok she isn’t perfect SHES A SATANITS! n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake!
Translation: She won’t write the next chapter until she gets a tin of good reviews – oh, wait, no, she probably wants ten good reviews. She’s introducing another character, adding to “Ebony” and “Enoby”, who is called “Evony”. That girl is a Satanist and also depressed. The addition of “for god’s sake” is hilarious in that context.
She describes Ebony’s nail polish ( c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u? Yes, it definitely does).
This is followed by another grape. Ebony takes off her leather bra (ugh) “and then he put his boy’s thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)”. Yes, Tara, it is stupid.
Anyways, Ebony spots a tattoo on Draco which says “Vampire”. She concludes that the two of them (Harry/Vampire and Draco) are having a relationship. Which… no. Just no. Harry and Draco do not have a relationship. Neither of them is gay. Also, they HATE EACH OTHER. People may have differing opinions on this, but as far as it concerns me, keep Harry and Draco away from each other.
Draco tries to explain, but Ebony claims to know “too much”. I think she meant “enough”, but what do I know?
She accuses him of probably having AIDS anyway. I don’t think that’s funny in any way. Tara’s very contradictory concerning homosexuals. Right now, she’s rather negative from what I gather.
Ebony dresses and then takes off and Draco runs after her, naked (he would definitely not). She storms into a classroom where Harry is having class with Professor Snape “and some other people”. I assume it’s Potions.
I get all confused about who’s alive and teaching and stuff. This is her, Harry’s and Draco’s seventh year. Harry shouldn’t be there, Dumbledore shouldn’t be alive, Snape should be headmaster and Draco shouldn’t have a tatoo, but a Dark Mark. But canon is not Tara’s strong suit.
Chapter 8 starts with Tara telling us to “stop flassing”. I will.
We meet Hermione, who’s basically not Hermione anymore, but “B’loody Mary Smith”. I don’t really get how that happened. Anyways, she’s in Slytherin now since she converted to Satanism. You cannot, I repeat, you cannot change houses. Tara really does have no idea about Harry Potter.
Snape makes his presence known: “What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!”
Well, Ebony ignores him. Instead, she accuses Harry of cheating on her with Draco. I think she’s got it a little wrong. Draco’s either cheating on her with Harry or on Harry with her, but Harry’s definitely not cheating on anyone.
Without any notification or something, we switch POV to Draco, who explains that they’re all bisexual, and that he had once had a relationship with Harry, but that it’s over now.
We switch back to Ebony who runs off to the Forbidden Forest where she “had lost my virility to Draco“. Her verility guys. She lost her verility… I think I need another “I can’t even” gif. Just a sec’…
Next on My Immortal: Ebony throws cats at You-Know-Who, who has telekinesis.
Have yourself a lovely day :)