Recap: My Immortal Chapter 3&4 – Tara’s very own language

Previously: Ebony meets Draco and they learn that there is a concert in Hogsmeade.

So, Tara thanks “da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws”. Does that mean that there were good reviews? I doubt it.

At the beginning of Chapter 3, Ebony is preparing for the concert she’s going to with Draco. There’s a long description of clothing and make-up and she then tells us that she’s drinking human blood so she doesn’t get hungry during the concert or something. That’s fine. I think we can at least assume that she does not sparkle.

She’s meeting with Draco then, who waits outside with his flying car. Guys!
A) it’s illegal to have a flying car, because officially you’re not allowed to use Muggle things you have meddled with to make them magical.
B) Why would Draco Malfoy, pureblood elitist, own a Muggle car?

Draco’s also wearing eye-liner and Tara feels the need to comment on that:

A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!

I took me a few minutes to figure out what she meant. I think it’s supposed to be: A lot of cool boys wear it, okay?  But it’s hard to tell.

Anyways, they’re flying to Hogsmeade. When they arrive they just go to the front and start listening to Good Charlotte – so, I don’t know about you, but when I go to a concert I’m there before they actually start playing. Whatever.

After a few lyrics, Ebony tells Draco that “Joel is so fucking hot”. Draco is a bit offended and it takes Ebony a bit to get why. She tells Draco that she likes him better, though, and Draco gets all sensitive. I mean, sure. Sensitive is exactly what I associate with that character.

They “crawl” back in to the car, but Draco “didn’t go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into… the Forbidden Forest!”
First of, this is not dramatic at all. Second. The Forbidden Forest belongs to the Hogwarts grounds, girl. So, if they’re in the Forbidden Forest, they’re still in Hogwarts. (He didn’t drive back to the castle, instead… would have been right.)

This is probably Tara’s idea of a cliff-hanger and we skip to Chapter 4.  The AN is hilarious again, so I’ll put it here:

I sed stup flaming ok ebony’s name is ENOBY nut mary su OK! DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

Translation: People are flaming the story, Ebony’s name is Enoby, Tara doesn’t know what “Mary-Sue” means and she has also invented another language.

We already knew that Ebony’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer, and she demonstrates it once again; she’s shouting at Draco. I’d shout at him, too, but mainly because he’s suddenly wearing red eye-contacts and that would scare the shit out of me.

Anyways, Draco is climbing on top of her while they make out against the tree. WHAT? I mean…  how? Er… what?????

I’m really sorry what is coming next:

Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

Someone commented the story on and said this wasn’t a lemon, but more of a grape. I’ll call it that from now on whenever such a scene comes up.

Luckily, they’re interrupted by Dumbledore, who’s totally in character. Just kidding:


It was….Dumbledore!

You may have realized that we now have four dots instead of three; this is probably supposed to be even more dramatic than that cliff-hanger from the last chapter.

Thankfully, this is the end of Chapter 4 and I can stop now.

Next on My Immortal: Dumbledore had a headache and we meet Harry for the first time. 

Have yourself a lovely day :)


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